2012 - a year of Conscious Self Care

It seems a pattern of mine is that I tend to make life changes in huge gigantic leaps, not small bite size pieces that are easier and more manageable to handle.

For example when I got married, I didn’t JUST get married. Getting married alone is enough to warrant at least 12 months counseling  pre and post the BIG DAY.

No, I got married in Paris to the love of my life, a man whom I’d known a total of 9 months in a long distance relationship. I gave up my job, moved interstate to a place where I had no friends or family. We decided to go into partnership with our business yet I had no clue what my role was. Add to this the fact that I was now a step mother to 2 pre-teens and had an ex-wife in the picture and a whole in-law family who had met me once.

Now I’m not the type to make it easy on myself. So I developed a whole identity crisis in relation to what my purpose in life was then (only a little thing right!). I added to this the whole step-monster syndrome not to mention comparing myself to the very present ex wife.  And OMG, what was I thinking.

Now let’s jump forward six years. My marriage has survived, the business has grown. I got in good with the in-laws and I managed to navigate my way into teenage hood with ‘step kids’ without too much alcohol . The ex was actually one of those people that turned out to be my biggest teacher. Who would have guessed?

So now we are in a comfortable position, we think. Yeah! Let’s find our ideal property and move. OK, easy done. Nine months later, we have moved our home and business interstate, expanded the business to include a spa and retreat because we could, left family and friends once again and now have a complete start up business to build.  I don’t even know how to get to Office Works yet!

Breathe Karina.

So if your life can sometimes be a little similar and you need a few tips to help you through the day then I have a couple of tried and tested techniques to help you out.

1. No matter how busy you get, don’t give up your morning ritual. That’s if you have a morning ritual and if you don’t then I suggest you get one. But not just any ritual, it has to be one that grounds you and centres you.

Meditation is ideal and it doesn’t have to be long, just 10 minutes is enough to bring you back into your body and the NOW moment and out of your head and all the worry and stress that comes with that.

My ritual consists of a 15 minute meditation, followed by prayer and setting my intention for the day. I follow this with 5 minutes of writing in my journal which helps clear away the white noise and provides clarity.

2. Finish the day with an upper. No, I don’t mean a chemical upper; I’m talking about the natural kind. Gratitude is the best natural organic upper you could find. Finding the blessing in your day and being grateful for the little things as well as the big is one of the most life changing things you can do.

So even in the midst of what seems like the worst day ever and all you want to do is crawl into bed and hide away, I encourage you to find that one thing you can say, ‘Yep, I can be grateful for that’ and don’t just say it, feel it. The blessing is in the feeling.

3. Let go of the guilt and pat yourself on the back. When your ‘to do’ list is as long as a Bryce Courtney novel and you feel like you’re just not achieving anything then do yourself a favour and pick your top 5 best bets and back a sure thing.

Go through and prioritise your list and then concentrate on just those things. Turn the phone off, the email off and shut the door and work in 90 minute spurts with a break in between.  And by break I mean move around and get out of your office.

Once you have crossed your top 5 off, don’t go down the guilt track for not doing other things.  Pat yourself on the back and do something to celebrate.

Even the horse that wins the Melbourne cup gets a bag of chaff after they’ve been able to cross that race off their list.

So there are a couple of tips that hopefully will help get you through life’s big challenges a bit more balanced and in control.

Next time we will look at a few more ways of dealing with change so that you can come through with not too much damage

Filed under: Health and Wellbeing, Stress Management

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My home is on the market at the moment and our Real Estate agent comes to us every week and provides us with an update of who has looked at the property during home opens and what their thoughts were.

Now yes, I agree that this great customer service but I have decided I don’t want to know what they didn’t like about my property because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it anyway so why go there.

I don’t need to know that one couple thought that the master bedroom should be on the first level or that it would be better if they could see the pool from the lounge room so they can watch their kids from the comfort of their couch.

I can’t pick up the bedroom and move it and I can’t knock down a wall so that the pool can be seen from inside. So if there is nothing I can do about it then I don’t want to stress about it.

Selling a home is stressful enough having to keep it spotless for home opens and inspections at a moment’s notice let alone compounding the stress by worrying that people don’t like your home.

We believe that the right person will love the home or put up with the things that they may not love. The right person will pay the price we are asking because the house is worth it. This home will bless the next owner as it has blessed us. Law of attraction say’s to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

If I focus on all the negative comments then I am just going to attract more negative people to the home opens.

There are lots of situations in life that produce stress but worrying over things that you cannot change magnifies the stress. The situation then becomes fear based and anything grounded in fear blocks the flow and prevents or slows down achieving the desired outcome.

So here are 5 ways to avoid unnecessary stress and worry in any situation.

1.       Step back from the time machine.

Going into the future in your head and thinking about all the ‘what-if’s’ and ‘maybe’s’ will only cause you to freak out more. Going into the past and dredging up all the “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s’ will only cause heartache and regret. Stay in the present moment and look at what is real. Most of the time it is not as bad as it seems.

 2. Lose the Drama Queen act, sweetie.

We can be very good at turning a mole hill into a mountain and we do this by being a drama queen. For some people they need drama in their lives to feel alive and so they turn a headache into a tumour or an innocent look into a full blown affair. Drama taps into the wrong kind of energy and it’s like sugar. it will give you a quick fast burst of energy but will then completely fatigue you.

 3.       Scratch the record.

When we continually go over and over something in our head we create our own bad song record in our head. We keep playing this bad song over and over again and it becomes catchy. Soon enough you can’t get it out of your head. Sort of like what Billy Ray Cyrus did to us with ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ (Bad song). We need to scratch the record so we stop thinking the negative thoughts. Once it’s scratched we replace it with more positive empowering thoughts.

4.       Don’t try and play God.

If you can’t change the situation then don’t try to. Like I said, I couldn’t pick my bedroom up and move it up one flight of stairs. Surrender to what is and have faith that the right outcome will happen. Just because you don’t know what it is yet doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. Keep the faith sister.

 5.       Stop, Drop and Roll

Well, that’s if you’re on fire but if you’re not then I suggest you have another little action plan that helps you out when you feel yourself in a stressful situation. We have a little guy called Rompa. He is a crocodile from the Crocodiles not Waterlillies personal development course and he stands for:

Relax

Observe

Manage

Patience

Act

Rompa is always good in a sticky situation.

 So there you have it, 5 suggestions that will help you stay grounded and centred in stressful circumstances.

Filed under: Stress Management, Work Life Balance

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As an Entrepreneur for over 13 years now, there has been numerous occasions where I have worked my fingers to the bone and pulled an all-nighter to meet a deadline only to wake up feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck and my body parts have been eaten by wild dogs, (graphic I know but you get the picture).

Why do we do this to ourselves? Simple answer, because we are trapped in a “non sync factor” model instead of a model of peak performance which I call “sync factor success”?

If you’re wondering what ‘sync factor’ means it is like the ‘x-factor’ for entrepreneurs. It’s that magnetism and energy that people are drawn to because you are in the flow of life. You’re attracting situations and events which are synchronistic. You’re in-action and inspired and life is effortless. Energetically you have tapped into your success pathway and you are able to gain more clarity and respond to situations more effectively. You think clearer, have a deeper sense of wisdom and clarity and your intuition is alive.

So in this article I am going to provide 7 tips that are guaranteed to get you stressed and burnout real quick because this is what every woman in business strives for (NOT). They worked for me until I learnt how to release stress, tap into my gender specific energy system and plug up my energy leaks. Ultimately I learnt how to have ‘sync factor’ success.

1. Don’t listen to your body

Our greatest gift we have been given is our body. Having been trained as a nurse I have studied anatomy and physiology and every time I think about how our body works I am blown away. Your body will tell you physically when something is wrong. The tightness of the muscles, the cold that has just come on, that little niggle in the tummy, the tightness of the solar plexus, and the contraction in the chest. So many signs and if we are paying attention, then we won’t have to manage our stress, we can release our stress.

2. Do the wrong type of affirmation

I love affirmations. I have said them for many years. Things like ‘I am a money magnet’ and ‘I am a successful entrepreneur with a million dollar business’. What I have come to learn though is that when we say an affirmation the wrong way, it can actually stimulate the adrenal system and cause us to go into fight or flight mode. Now this is fine for men but for women it’s a real no no.

As women we need to start with ‘I trust’. ‘I trust’ tells our bodies that it is safe. When we are safe we can be in a ‘tend and befriend’ state.

3. Don’t start the day with your power rituals

Your morning power ritual will ultimately determine the outcome of your day. How you handle circumstance and events. How much energy you have and how creative you are can all be affected by how you start your day.

My morning power ritual consists of meditation, prayer, journaling, setting my intention for the day, exercise and a great breakfast.

It takes all of 1 hour and sets me up for Peak Performance.

4. Don’t participate in ‘TREE’ time

T is for Time. R is for Reflecting, E is for Energizing and E is for Evolving. Every week I schedule time spent by myself to reflect on the week so far. I usually have it in the bath with mineral salts, aromatherapy oils and candles as all this creates a calming soothing energy. I usually read something that adds to my life and I prepare for my next week and ask for guidance and inspiration.

‘TREE’ time is essential for growth and personal development.

5. Ignore energy leaks

Ever walk past the desk and think, ‘I must clean that’ or opened the drawer and not be able to find what you you’re looking for because it is so messy?

This is called energy leaks and it happens all the time. If you can imagine we wake up with 100 points of energy to last you through the day. Messy desk, there goes 3 points. Messy drawer, 3 points and so on. Soon enough you have used all of your points and guess what? It’s only 3 o’clock,  bugger!

6. Try and maintain work/life balance

Remember back when you played on a see-saw with a friend and tried to balance but your friend weighed more than you and so it was impossible.

Well I personally believe trying to create balance between your work and life is just adding to stress because it creates an either / or scenario. Meaning you have to give up something and put it somewhere else or get totally stressed out by feeling guilty that you haven’t spent time with the kids today or whatever it is you feel guilty about, so you leave work early and then feel guilty for the rest of the night about that action plan you never sent to so and so and then you stress about all the work you have to do the next day to catch up and on and on it goes.

When you are an entrepreneur you usually do it because you love it. It’s a passion so why try and balance everything when balancing only leads to stress?

Why not learn how to tap into ‘sync factor success’ and then life somehow becomes a whole lot less of a struggle and the issues that were issues before aren’t issues any more. Amazing!

7. Get your energy from your adrenal system

When we tap into adrenalin we go into fight or flight mode. This is great when we are being chased by a wooly mammoth but not so great for business. Men can handle more adrenalin than women. It is bio-chemically ingrained in their cells from when they really were getting chased by wooly mammoths. Women can’t handle too much adrenalin; it causes us to produce cortisol making us sick.

It literally causes stress, burnout and fatigue and ignites the ‘non-sync factor’ model. (Not good). So we need to release stress by keeping your body in a peak performance state.

If you would like to know more about the ‘Sync factor Success’ model then keep an eye out for more articles and videos on the subject. I am also producing a coaching course as well so I will keep you updated.

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Karina Stephens is the Mentor to enRICHed Women all over the world. She helps women enrich their lives spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://karinastephens.com.au

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Filed under: Peak Performance, Stress Management, Work Life Balance

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There are 1440 Minutes in a day, 10,080 minutes in a week. They don’t accrue, we can’t get them back if we aren’t happy with the way we used them. The older we get the faster the year flies by. Before we know it, it’s Christmas again and we are packing the car to spend another holiday with family (which can be a good or bad thing).

When you are trying to balance the million things in your life and make everyone happy and get everything done sometimes 1440 minutes just aint enough.

How many times have we been told, “If you give 100% then you’ve done your best”? You have probably told your kids that or told yourself that on occasion. You know what, I’m going to be brutally honest here and admit that sometimes for me 100% just feels like too much in the moment.

Shock, horror, gasp I hear. But it’s true. There are days when I am suffering from PMS and my body has been taken over by some alien life form and I cannot be held accountable for what comes out of my mouth when people say really dumb things.

Other day’s life just throws me curve ball after curve ball and I am so sick of catching these balls I just want to hit life back, way out to the end field and not play anymore.

So, on those days I say to myself, “What it I just gave 1%? Would that be ok?

And you know what, IT IS….. So here’s my big announcement.

I am officially giving you permission that when you have to, you can just put in 1% and be proud of yourself.

What’s the catch I hear you ask? Well, yes there is one but its minor. The thing is the 1% is not about effort it is about time. That’s it. How does that work?

Well I’m glad you asked.

1% of your day is 15 minutes and believe it or not, 1% CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

If your day has got away from you like some days do, we are human, life happens then instead of saying to yourself, “You know what I’m just not going to the gym, I don’t have time and I’m too stressed out to give it my all”, all you have to do is 1%.

Go for a 15 minute power walk around the block, then pat yourself on the back and say, I gave 100% effort to my 1% time.

So, what can we do in 15 minutes to de-stress and create balance? I’ve come up with a list I call my Top 1% winners, tips to help you get started. See if you can come up with some more.

1.       Meditate for 15 minutes first thing in the morning. I guarantee that it will set the tone for the rest of the day.

2.       Clean your desk. Sometimes just having a clean organised desk will overcome the procrastination that arises when your desk is messy and you can’t find anything you are looking for. And if this is going to take longer than 15 minutes, just start with 15 and go back to it another day.

3.       Walk – There is nothing like a brisk walk outside to change your state and clear your head.

4.       Breathe – Close your eyes, put your hand on your belly and take 10 slow deep breaths. Your brain will love you as well as the rest of your body.

5.       Dance – Our body was designed to move so put 3 of your favourite songs on and dance like no one is watching. It’s an instant pick me up.

6.       Make love – If the opportunity is there, then why not have a quickie. I am positive your partner will love you for it.

7.       Sing – Put a CD on and sing along loud and strong like you’re a rock star, even if you can’t carry a tune, it doesn’t matter. Three Songs will get you to 15 minutes and is guaranteed to clear those wind pipes.

8.       Exercise – A 15 minute circuit is enough to get the heart beating faster and even a little sweat up and it is better than none at all.

9.       Play – With your dog, your kids, you partner or yourself. Just have fun for 15 minutes and remember what it feels like to simply play.

10.   Pray – 15 minutes communing with the Divine whoever that may be for you will do wonders for your spirit and soul.

11.   Journal – Taking 15 minutes to write in a book about your feelings is enough to clear the white noise from your head and gain clarity around a situation or just help release blocked energy.

12.   Nap – A power nap is an energy reviver. Put your alarm on for 15 minutes and close your beautiful eyes and nap.

13.   Write a note to someone – Writing a letter to someone just to say “hey, thinking of you”, or “Miss you”, will not only help you but also touch someone else’s heart.

14.   Talk to someone you haven’t talked to in ages – Pick up the phone and call that one person who comes into your thoughts during the day for no reason. It’s a sign you need to say ‘Hi’.

15. Make a healthy smoothie – Take 15 minutes to make the best healthiest tastiest smoothie you can and then ENJOY

16.   Clean a mess – Mess can lead to energy leaks. Just walking past that closed door knowing that what lies behind is a huge mess means loss of energy. Take 15 minutes to just start cleaning and if you don’t know where to start that’s ok, just start anywhere.

17.   Scan your body – Stop for 15 minutes and from toe to head, scan your body for any tension. When you find some tightness, breathe into it and say “My muscles are loose and relaxed”.

18.   Declutter – Clean out that wardrobe or that kitchen draw. Get rid of anything you don’t need and what you do is make room for new things. It’s a universal law. Just do 15 minutes at a time.

There you go. If you commit to 100% effort for 1% of your time I assure you that on the days when 100% is just too much, then 1% will do.

Filed under: Stress Management, Work Life Balance

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